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Vol 43 Issue 09

NFL Combine Highlights

With the NFL draft combine in the books, Onion Sports takes a closer look at some of the more notable performances:

Cheney Nearly Bombed

At least nine people have died in a suicide bombing at a U.S. base in Afghanistan during Vice President Dick Cheney's stay. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

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