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Iraq's Little Victories

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.
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Iraq's Little Victories

After a busy election season, it's easy to forget that while the two candidates were fighting over the presidency, we were still fighting a war in Iraq. Here's some of the good news from the front lines that you may not have heard:

Army Spc. Phillip Bertam showed his buddies a picture of his girl back home and wasn't killed by sniper fire immediately afterward.

Marine Corps Pfc. Marlon Llewelyn doesn't really want to talk about what happened, but yeah, his penis still works.

After weeks of hard fighting and inch-by-inch advancement, the 5th Platoon, Delta Company finally secured that block of Fallujah with the awesome little shawarma place.

A truck bomb detonated and destroyed a local eyesore that should have been condemned five years ago.

U.S. medics saved an Iraqi man's life when they successfully removed the shards of his wife's skull from his face.

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