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Jobs' Last Words Revealed

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Jobs' Last Words Revealed

Delivering a eulogy, Mona Simpson, the sister of Steve Jobs, shared the Apple CEO's final words: "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." Here are some other famous last words:

  • George Washington Carver: "May people only remember me for the peanut."
  • Genghis Khan: "Life is funny. One minute you're up, the next you're down. Just make sure you enjoy the ride!"
  • Strom Thurmond: "Sorry about all that stuff I said."
  • Orville Redenbacher: "I’ve known no joy in life more delicious than munching and crunching each day with you."
  • Hunter S. Thompson: "I'm through trying to pry money out of that pigfucker Jann Wenner."
  • John Paul II: "Alas, with my last breath, let me utter the one thing I have always wanted to say: big black balls."
  • Michael Jackson: "Great, I’m even dying kind of weird."
  • Mitt Romney: "We have to keep this quiet, or my campaign is fucked."

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