June 20, 2011

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Content From 2011-06-20

Dirk Nowitzki

 The Mavericks' 7-footer just shrugged off cries of "soft" and defeated the Heat's Big Three to pick up a championship trophy and a Finals MVP Award. Is he any good?

Nation's Dads Treated To Mark Knopfler Meet-And-Greet

CHICAGO—In what many were calling "the best Father's Day present ever," the nation's dads were treated to a Mark Knopfler meet-and-greet Thursday, spending several minutes chatting and posing for photos with the former Dire Straits frontma...

Slippery Slope

FOX News 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT Contestants try to stay fair and balanced as they negotiate a treacherous obstacle course in which one wrong move leads to gay marriage and two inserts "under Allah" into the Pledge of Allegiance.

Partygoer Gets Thoughtful

LAFAYETTE, LA—At approximately 11:20 P.M. Friday night, the festive attitude of local partygoer Nathan Daniels, 34, suddenly gave way to a more thoughtful and introspective mood, witnesses reported.

How Powerhouse Teams Came Up Short

The factors in the collapse of the Heat's supposedly unstoppable Big Three will be analyzed for a long time, and as we've seen in the past, juggernauts disappoint for many reasons. 1980 Soviet national hockey team: Goal-rationing 1990 Mi...

America Just Now Remembering How Much They Hate Dallas

WASHINGTON—After feelings of elation over the Miami Heat losing the NBA Finals started to fade this week, Americans across the country suddenly began to remember how much they actually hate the city of Dallas, the Mavericks, and their “total f...

Trunkful Of Babies

ABC 9 p.m. EDT/ 8 p.m. CDT The irrepressible Jason Lee traverses the nation in his spacious '68 Cadillac, surprising barren women by popping the trunk and giving them the gift of a lifetime.

'America's Most Wanted' Canceled

After 23 years on the air, America's Most Wanted—the Fox show that dramatizes real crimes in order to assist in the capture of suspects—will no longer air as a weekly program.

Obama's Aunt Sends Him Article Mentioning United States

KALONA, IA—According to family sources, Barack Obama's aunt Claudia, 79, mailed a letter to the president Monday that included a short note and a carefully clipped-out article from the Highland Review newspaper mentioning the United States.

Detective Trying To Get Into Mind Of Litterer

LAKEWOOD, NJ—Tired of being led in circles by a shrewd and elusive local litterer, detective Alex Lavin attempted to penetrate the thought process of his arch-nemesis on Wednesday “to find out what makes him tick,” sources reported.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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