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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Justin Bieber’s Rise And Fall

Teen pop idol Justin Bieber was arrested earlier this month for allegedly driving under the influence and drag racing in Florida, marking the latest incident in a string of troubling behavior that reportedly includes drug use, throwing eggs at his neighbor’s house, and spray-painting graffiti in Brazil. Here is a timeline of Justin Bieber’s path from YouTube sensation, to global superstar, to front-page delinquent:

  • June 2008: Bieber is first discovered singing soulful spirituals while tilling an Ottawa-area cotton field
  • July 2008: Before packing up and moving to Atlanta to meet with manager Scooter Braun, Bieber experiences his last normal interaction with other human beings
  • Feb. 2010: Bieber’s music video “Baby” becomes the most watched YouTube video of all time, topping the previous records set by “How To Set Up Your Epson XP-410 For A Wireless Network,” “Setting Up Your Epson XP-410 For Windows 8,” and “My Review Of The Epson XP-410”
  • Aug. 2010: Ominous tone begins to creep into Behind The Music narrator’s voice
  • Dec. 2010: The teen icon begins an on-again-off-again relationship with popular ’90s Latin recording artist Selena
  • Sept. 2012: Bieber starts lifting weights, and it shows
  • Feb. 2013: Something snaps
  • Nov. 2013: Bieber suffers a full emotional breakdown after coming across a crude drawing he made at age 5 depicting him and his parents standing in front of a house, smiling
  • Jan. 2014: World makes laughably naive judgment that Justin Bieber has hit rock bottom
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