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Politics

Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:
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Kerry Begins Newspaper Hearings

In light of recent newspaper closures, Sen. John Kerry is holding hearings this week about the struggling print journalism industry. Here are some of the reasons given for its decline:

Between Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, half of America gets The New York Times read to them for free every day

Fewer and fewer Americans physically able to hoist themselves upright, walk halfway down driveway, and bend over to pick up paper

Horoscopes always slightly inaccurate

Paid Ann Landers way too much back in the ‘90s

G. Evans of Topeka, KS finally made good on her years-long threat of canceling her subscription

Because no one gives a shit about international news, national news, local news, sports, politics, art, science, or classifieds

The Denver Post staff’s notorious habit of telling everyone all about their stories before the paper is printed

Journalists continue to demand overly generous salaries as high as $32,000 a year

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