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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Kim Jong Il's Successor

North Korean president Kim Jong Il recently named his 25-year-old son Kim Jong Un as the nation's next leader. What qualifications does Kim's youngest son bring with him?

Has 8 million pre-painted portraits of himself ready to distribute to the populace at a moment's notice

Displayed a complete disregard for U.N. resolutions from a very early age

Pretty good friends with Putin's kids

Has two nonfunctional but symbolic iron fists grafted onto his arms

Projects a powerful authoritarian air over his countrymen by appearing adequately nourished

Shares two out of three names with arguably the greatest leader in Far East Asian history

Has shown a lifelong, devoted lack of interest in behaving normally in any way

Is able to slap people across the face effectively with either hand

On the day of Jong Un's birth, all farmers reaped twice as much from the earth, the rivers overflowed with carp, and the lapping ocean waves murmured the new leader's name

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