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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Kitty Kelley Pens Oprah Tell-All

An unauthorized biography of Oprah Winfrey by Kitty Kelley, writer of controversial books on Elizabeth Taylor and Nancy Reagan, was published Tuesday. Here are some of the book's revelations:

  • "Harpo" actually just an anagram of her name, Proha
  • Owns variety of fat suits that she'll toss on when tabloid attention starts to wane
  • Keeps all of her Emmys swaddled in a pink satin-lined crib up in the attic
  • Sends successful authors in her book club a black rose every year to remind them that she can destroy them as easily as she created them
  • Allows partner Stedman Graham exactly five minutes and 45 seconds of intercourse every six weeks
  • Requires a new inspirational poem from Maya Angelou twice a day
  • Her California estate has 24 bedrooms, 17 bathrooms, and two McDonald's restaurants
  • Wasn't actually the first person to come up with the idea of asking another person questions

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