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The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Donald Trump’s Campaign: Myth Vs. Fact

Donald Trump’s political positions, personal history, and potential governing style have been the subject of much debate throughout the 2016 election. The Onion separates myth from fact in this breakdown of Trump’s campaign:

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.
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Landmark Gay Rights Cases

With eight states now having legalized same-sex marriage, gay rights have come a long way in the past 100 years. Here are some court cases that have marked key victories for the movement:

1933—O'Malley v. Amalgamated Shirtwaist Inc.: The right of gay people to sign legal documents is upheld

1947—Meyerson v. City of Boulder: The court struck down a local bylaw that required all homosexuals to shout, "Gay coming through," while walking in public

1967—Big Faggot Dave v. United States: Won the right for gay plaintiffs to be protected from offensive epithets when court cases are titled

1973—Miller v. Williams: Reggie Williams was held responsible for $245 in damage done to the car of Scott Miller, a gay man

1972—Martin v. Alabama: Men permitted to hold hands so long as no one is looking

1973—Miles v. Baskin-Robbins: Anyone—anyone—is allowed to ask for up to two sample tastes before purchasing

1990—Marker's Bar and Grill v. Fitzgerald: Stated that gay bars did not have to be named with a poor double entendre

2006—Oppenheimer v. Toomey: Upheld the right of closeted gays to remain trapped in miserable, loveless marriages for the rest of their lives

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