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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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Landmark Gay Rights Cases

With eight states now having legalized same-sex marriage, gay rights have come a long way in the past 100 years. Here are some court cases that have marked key victories for the movement:

1933—O'Malley v. Amalgamated Shirtwaist Inc.: The right of gay people to sign legal documents is upheld

1947—Meyerson v. City of Boulder: The court struck down a local bylaw that required all homosexuals to shout, "Gay coming through," while walking in public

1967—Big Faggot Dave v. United States: Won the right for gay plaintiffs to be protected from offensive epithets when court cases are titled

1973—Miller v. Williams: Reggie Williams was held responsible for $245 in damage done to the car of Scott Miller, a gay man

1972—Martin v. Alabama: Men permitted to hold hands so long as no one is looking

1973—Miles v. Baskin-Robbins: Anyone—anyone—is allowed to ask for up to two sample tastes before purchasing

1990—Marker's Bar and Grill v. Fitzgerald: Stated that gay bars did not have to be named with a poor double entendre

2006—Oppenheimer v. Toomey: Upheld the right of closeted gays to remain trapped in miserable, loveless marriages for the rest of their lives

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