adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

Lesser-Known College Football Awards

Not every college football award has the prestige of the Heisman, Maxwell, or Lombardi trophies. Onion Sports runs down some of the more notable but less visible:

NFL Contract: Awarded to the top 1 percent of all college players each year, as voted by NFL front-office personnel

Bobby Bowden Award: Awarded each year by, and to, Bobby Bowden

Outstanding Defensive Coordination For A Variety, Music, Or Football Program: Past winners include Bud Yorkin for Jack Benny television specials, Dave Wilson for NBC's Saturday Night, and Ron English for Michigan

Warren Sapp Memorial Trophy: Given every year in the hopes that former University of Miami lineman Warren Sapp will die

The Ray Guy Award: Apparently for punters, of all things

Charles "Buckets" Goldenberg Trophy: Given annually to college football's Jewish player

Don Davey All-American Scholarship Award: NCAA football's top honor for academic excellence, last awarded in 1993

Craftsman Tools Elvis Presley Trophy: Given to the college football player who wins the Memphis Motorsports Park 250 NASCAR Truck Series race

The Tony George Memorial Low Whistle: Given to the quarterback that couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, but holy hell, did you see how far that kid threw it?

The Rudy Ruettiger Trophy: Actually more of an ice-cream cone than a trophy, really

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close