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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Lesser-Known College Football Awards

Not every college football award has the prestige of the Heisman, Maxwell, or Lombardi trophies. Onion Sports runs down some of the more notable but less visible:

NFL Contract: Awarded to the top 1 percent of all college players each year, as voted by NFL front-office personnel

Bobby Bowden Award: Awarded each year by, and to, Bobby Bowden

Outstanding Defensive Coordination For A Variety, Music, Or Football Program: Past winners include Bud Yorkin for Jack Benny television specials, Dave Wilson for NBC's Saturday Night, and Ron English for Michigan

Warren Sapp Memorial Trophy: Given every year in the hopes that former University of Miami lineman Warren Sapp will die

The Ray Guy Award: Apparently for punters, of all things

Charles "Buckets" Goldenberg Trophy: Given annually to college football's Jewish player

Don Davey All-American Scholarship Award: NCAA football's top honor for academic excellence, last awarded in 1993

Craftsman Tools Elvis Presley Trophy: Given to the college football player who wins the Memphis Motorsports Park 250 NASCAR Truck Series race

The Tony George Memorial Low Whistle: Given to the quarterback that couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, but holy hell, did you see how far that kid threw it?

The Rudy Ruettiger Trophy: Actually more of an ice-cream cone than a trophy, really

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