adBlockCheck

Sports

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.
End Of Section
  • More News

Lesser-Known Yankee Stadium Moments

In its 85 years, Yankee Stadium saw more than its share of history made, but there was more to the Cathedral of Baseball than championships and record-setting:

1923: On the pitch before hitting the first home run ever at Yankee Stadium, Babe Ruth sneezes mid-swing and hits a foul ball right into his crotch

1926: Babe Ruth hits a meaningless home run, marking the first and last time Yankees fans don't attach sentimental value to every little thing that happens

1938: Boxer Joe Louis becomes the first person to hit a man out of Yankee Stadium

1974–1975: Stadium undergoes massive renovations to remove all traces of anything aesthetically interesting

1994: In what most agree is a failed experiment, a deafened crowd watches in amazement and terror as Jeff Gordon wins the inaugural, and thus far only, Yankee Stadium 500

1995: Stadium owners lose to rival Los Angeles County Superior Court in battle to host the O.J. Simpson murder trial

2005: Mark Bellhorn and Derek Jeter turn one of their crisper double plays

2008: After trying his entire career to hit the last home run ever at Yankee Stadium, José Molina does so

More from this section

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close