Lesser-Known Yankee Stadium Moments

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Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.
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Lesser-Known Yankee Stadium Moments

In its 85 years, Yankee Stadium saw more than its share of history made, but there was more to the Cathedral of Baseball than championships and record-setting:

1923: On the pitch before hitting the first home run ever at Yankee Stadium, Babe Ruth sneezes mid-swing and hits a foul ball right into his crotch

1926: Babe Ruth hits a meaningless home run, marking the first and last time Yankees fans don't attach sentimental value to every little thing that happens

1938: Boxer Joe Louis becomes the first person to hit a man out of Yankee Stadium

1974–1975: Stadium undergoes massive renovations to remove all traces of anything aesthetically interesting

1994: In what most agree is a failed experiment, a deafened crowd watches in amazement and terror as Jeff Gordon wins the inaugural, and thus far only, Yankee Stadium 500

1995: Stadium owners lose to rival Los Angeles County Superior Court in battle to host the O.J. Simpson murder trial

2005: Mark Bellhorn and Derek Jeter turn one of their crisper double plays

2008: After trying his entire career to hit the last home run ever at Yankee Stadium, José Molina does so


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