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Limbaugh Accusations

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
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Limbaugh Accusations

Last week, Rush Limbaugh accused Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his Parkinson's disease symptoms in an ad promoting stem-cell research. Here are Limbaugh's other recent targets, and his reasons for attacking them:

  • Unborn babies: For having tempting stem cells to begin with
  • Slipknot: Were excellent in beginning, but did not show growth necessary to ensure a band's sustained success
  • Ann Coulter: Attacked 9/11 widows before he had a chance to
  • That Mongoloid kid back in coach: His nonstop screaming made it impossible to enjoy screening of Failure To Launch
  • Girl Scout Troop #93: Ran out of Samoas before reaching his home
  • His listeners: Did not agree quickly enough
  • Cigar Aficionado Editor-In-Chief Marvin Shanken: Failed to accurately portray Limbaugh's love of cigars
  • God: Endowed him with far too much talent

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