Limbaugh Accusations

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Limbaugh Accusations

Last week, Rush Limbaugh accused Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his Parkinson's disease symptoms in an ad promoting stem-cell research. Here are Limbaugh's other recent targets, and his reasons for attacking them:

  • Unborn babies: For having tempting stem cells to begin with
  • Slipknot: Were excellent in beginning, but did not show growth necessary to ensure a band's sustained success
  • Ann Coulter: Attacked 9/11 widows before he had a chance to
  • That Mongoloid kid back in coach: His nonstop screaming made it impossible to enjoy screening of Failure To Launch
  • Girl Scout Troop #93: Ran out of Samoas before reaching his home
  • His listeners: Did not agree quickly enough
  • Cigar Aficionado Editor-In-Chief Marvin Shanken: Failed to accurately portray Limbaugh's love of cigars
  • God: Endowed him with far too much talent