Line Drive That Broke Johnny Pesky's Leg Ruled Fair

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Vol 42 Issue 12

Scholarships Going To Whites

Colleges are now considering white students for fellowships and scholarships that were previously available only to minorities. What do you...

Microsoft Vista Delayed

Microsoft Vista, the first major overhaul of the Windows operating system in five years, has been delayed until the beginning of next year. What do...

Reactors Contaminate Groundwater

Two nuclear reactors, Indian Point near New York and the Braidwood facility near Chicago, have released radioactive tritium into the groundwater....
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Spring

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Onion Video

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