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Little League World Series Highlights

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Little League World Series Highlights

  • After putting on a special batting helmet and protective vest as well as an ankle brace and two batting gloves, Scott Gordon strikes out on three straight pitches
  • For the first time since the 1983 LLWS, more players are called "tiger" than "scout"
  • The Japanese team is brought in front of a Little League tribunal after defying mercy rule conventions in a 417-2 romp of Saudi Arabia
  • Jake Hewitt's mom from the Peabody, MA team says she's going to get water for everyone but comes back with Gatorades and it's awesome
  • The Urbandale team sets a new LLWS record by crying for a straight 22 minutes after losing
  • Georgia player Kyle King slides headfirst so as to avoid breaking the crack vials in his back pocket
  • During a visit to the Little League Hall of Fame, tournament participants rush to the plaques of their heroes: Danny, Todd, and Kyle
  • ESPN momentarily stops the telecast after an onscreen graphic shows that Jason Ferrell's favorite sexual position is the reverse cowgirl
  • The Staten Island team representing the Mid-Atlantic sets an LLWS record with 85 "fuckin's" and 38 "faggots"

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