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Madonna's Rocky Romances

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Madonna's Rocky Romances

In the latest chapter of Madonna's romantic history, it was announced last week that she and director Guy Ritchie are going to get a divorce. Here are some highlights from Madonna's romantic past:

1977—While still living in Michigan, a teenaged Madonna has a brief affair with a young pizza delivery driver—the last time she would do anything spontaneous and uncalculated

1985—Madonna's tumultuous love affair with noted Keynesian economist John Kenneth Galbraith finally ends after a loud public spat about the merits of heterodox institutional economics

1987—Madonna makes Emo Philips a man

1990—In a move that divides feminists, Madonna gives hand jobs to the first two rows of the audience at a Madrid concert during her Blond Ambition tour

1991—A disappointed Jose Canseco ends his relationship with Madonna after discovering that the pop star's breasts are not as conical as he was led to believe

1996—Personal trainer Carlos Leon is summoned to Madonna's bedchamber, where he impregnates her with future daughter Lourdes before being immediately returned to the gyms of New York

1998—Despite three or four very pleasant dates, things just never really click between Madonna and Omaha-based systems analyst Sam Biederman

2004—Guy Ritchie and Madonna agree to separate as soon as Madonna has time

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