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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Major Carnival Cruise Line Disasters

The Carnival cruise ship Triumph, which lost electricity and functioning bathrooms while at sea in February, broke free from its mooring in Mobile, AL last week, marking the latest in a string of high-profile black eyes for the company. Here are some other famous disasters in Carnival’s history:

  • May 24, 1975: Malfunctioning kitchen equipment forces Carnival Festivale passengers to go five minutes without eating
  • July 2, 1981: The Carnival Mardi Gras catches fire after a crewman accidently discards his cigarette in the Bales of Hay Room
  • Aug. 19, 1988: Passengers Denise Redmond and Carl Piper meet and hit if off
  • Sept. 5, 1997: The Carnival Jubilee is downed in the mid-Atlantic by a broadside cannon barrage from a Regent Seven Seas Cruises destroyer
  • Oct. 10, 2000: Elation becomes the third Carnival cruise ship to be destroyed by a falling meteor
  • June 12, 2004: The Carnival Glory capsizes and sinks after everyone rushes port side to see a dolphin hopping in and out of the water
  • Aug. 10, 2009: The Carnival Legend notices too late that it’s about to go over a really big waterfall!
  • Apr. 18, 2013: Emerging from port for the first time since its docking, the entire Carnival cruise ship Triumph spontaneously bursts into flames
  • June 28, 2091: The navigational system aboard the Carnival StarVoyage malfunctions, sending the space cruiser directly into the sun
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