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Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known as @RWthinks by his legions of passionate fans, makes roughly $28,000 per year.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Mamet To Direct 'Anne Frank'

Pulitzer Prize–winning playwright David Mamet is writing and directing a new film version of The Diary Of Anne Frank. Here are some highlights from his adaptation:

  • When confronted for stealing food, Joe Mantegna's Putti Van Daan claims not to "give two goddamn fucks in a pig's ass"
  • Fantastic scene in which Anne Frank denies her dad coffee and tells her family that only those with brass balls can survive the Nazis
  • Anne's diary is the only place she is able to finish a sentence
  • The lead is recast as Angelo, a 54-year-old longshoreman for whom the attic is a metaphor for sexual repression
  • Rebecca Pidgeon is shoehorned into the plot, ruining movie at last minute
  • As the Nazis approach, Anne orders the crying baby to "can it"
  • The bookcase that covers the entrance to the secret annex is played by Alec Baldwin
  • Anne's death is ultimately less about "Nazis" and more about "the American dream"

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