McCain's Running Mate

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Vol 44 Issue 12

Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box

ITHACA, NY—"I'm going to be the big boy of the house until he gets back," said 5-year-old Ryan Lewis, whose daddy now resides in a cool underground fort.

Clinton Wants New Primary

Hillary Clinton is calling on Barack Obama to overturn the ruling of the Democratic party and concede to accepting the "do-over" primaries of Florida...

Tyler Hansbrough

It's uplifting to see his kind of intensity and passion, but what does that have to do with sports?
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McCain's Running Mate

All but assured the Republican presidential nomination, John McCain has begun discussing possible running mates. Who is on his short list?

Condoleezza Rice: Petulant-terrier look always plays well at foreign state funerals.

Tom Hanks: Just such a huge, huge fan.

(No nomination): As nobody has done nothing for McCain, McCain likewise intends to do nothing for nobody.

Hip, young blogger: To attract hip, young blogger voters.

Mitt Romney: McCain hates him with the burning hatred of a thousand exploding suns, which is always a good aspect of any president/VP relationship.

McCain's grandson: Doesn't really think he's qualified, but would you look at that face? How can you say no to that face?

Hillary Clinton: Just because it would be amazing to see the look on everyone's faces when they say "No way!" followed by "Well, it kind of makes sense."

Mike Huckabee: Bass player needed.

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