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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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McDonald’s Announces Brand Transformation

After months of declining sales amidst competition from rivals Chipotle and Panera Bread, which are increasingly attracting millennials with healthier and more customizable food options, McDonald’s has announced a massive “brand transformation” to win back young consumers. Here are some of the changes underway:

  • Darker, edgier Hamburglar wearing Guy Fawkes mask
  • Each customer to receive “Meal In Review” video highlighting important events that took place during their visit
  • Switching signature red from Pantone 485 C to much more contemporary 185 C
  • Ball pits now filled with trendy mason jars
  • Strategically place new restaurant on the last exit of Westbound I-30 heading out of Little Rock so that it’s either McDonald’s or nothing until we get to Texarkana
  • Restaurant will create collaborative eating environment by replacing booths with low, open-plan seating
  • New slate of advertisements asking, “Where’s Chipotle’s free temporary housing for families of hospitalized children?”
  • Getting a bunch of guys in a room and just bouncing around ideas about dipping sauces
  • Customers encouraged to visit Facebook and Twitter to share their favorite stories from past McDonald’s brand transformations

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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