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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Media Manipulations, Falsehoods, And The Greater Truth

Recently, the most downloaded episode of This American Life—featuring Mike Daisey's monologue The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Steve Jobs—and a viral video about African child soldiers called Kony 2012 have fallen under fire for failing to provide wholly factual accounts of their subjects. Here are some other media projects that have not withstood scrutiny:

  • Stop Gun Violence: Actually makes guns look pretty cool
  • Operation Hunger: Footage of starving Ethiopian children actually footage of starving Somali children
  • YouTube documentary Obama Is A Reptilian! Proof!: Obama is not a reptilian, he is merely being controlled by his reptilian overlord, Education Secretary Arne Duncan
  • Planet Earth: Planet doesn't always speak in voice of David Attenborough {Sig}
  • Heinz ketchup commercial: Ketchup doesn’t actually flow from bottle onto hot dog in thick, uniform ribbons of ruby delight
  • Frontline: Inside Japan's Nuclear Meltdown: Incorporated extensive footage fromGodzilla, King Of The Monsters!
  • 60 Minutes: Andy Rooney never made sandwiches for everybody at CBS
  • The Cove: Misled viewers into assumption that dolphins were not succulent, rich, and intoxicatingly delicious
  • The New York Times: Mar. 10 column 'Manlashes, Manscara And Mantyhose' by Maureen Dowd—just a shitty, annoying waste of everyone's time

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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