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Media Manipulations, Falsehoods, And The Greater Truth

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Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

EPA Urges Flint Residents To Stop Dumping Tap Water Down Drain

FLINT, MI—Citing the significant health and safety risks that it poses to public infrastructure and the local ecosystem, the Environmental Protection Agency released a statement Thursday urging residents of Flint to discontinue dumping tap water down their drains.

New OSHA Regulations To Cut Down On Workplace Mutations

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to address the troubling number of genetic transformations occurring in workplaces across the nation, the United States Occupational Safety and Health Administration unveiled new regulations this week aimed at reducing on-the-job mutations, sources confirmed.

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon
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  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

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Media Manipulations, Falsehoods, And The Greater Truth

Recently, the most downloaded episode of This American Life—featuring Mike Daisey's monologue The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Steve Jobs—and a viral video about African child soldiers called Kony 2012 have fallen under fire for failing to provide wholly factual accounts of their subjects. Here are some other media projects that have not withstood scrutiny:

  • Stop Gun Violence: Actually makes guns look pretty cool
  • Operation Hunger: Footage of starving Ethiopian children actually footage of starving Somali children
  • YouTube documentary Obama Is A Reptilian! Proof!: Obama is not a reptilian, he is merely being controlled by his reptilian overlord, Education Secretary Arne Duncan
  • Planet Earth: Planet doesn't always speak in voice of David Attenborough {Sig}
  • Heinz ketchup commercial: Ketchup doesn’t actually flow from bottle onto hot dog in thick, uniform ribbons of ruby delight
  • Frontline: Inside Japan's Nuclear Meltdown: Incorporated extensive footage fromGodzilla, King Of The Monsters!
  • 60 Minutes: Andy Rooney never made sandwiches for everybody at CBS
  • The Cove: Misled viewers into assumption that dolphins were not succulent, rich, and intoxicatingly delicious
  • The New York Times: Mar. 10 column 'Manlashes, Manscara And Mantyhose' by Maureen Dowd—just a shitty, annoying waste of everyone's time

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