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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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MGM Files For Bankruptcy

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc., the company that owns the Rocky and James Bond franchises, the American International Pictures and United Artists libraries, and the MGM Casino, filed for bankruptcy in a New York court last week. Here are some of the reasons the entertainment giant went so far into debt:

  • 1924–1936: Metro, too much cocaine; Goldwyn, too many pills; Mayer, too many commemorative plates
  • 1968: While filming 2001: A Space Odyssey, Stanley Kubrick demands the monolith be repainted 28 times before he finds the right color
  • 1976: MGM Grand actually has the loosest slots in town for six months
  • 1978: Huge fucking shitstorm and the bastard lawyers take 20 percent
  • 1984: Start buying a new lion for the logo every year instead of every other year
  • 1987: Majority of Spaceballs is actually filmed in deep space
  • 1993: Fans of Benny & Joon's use of porkpie hats stumble upon Buster Keaton, begin watching Columbia Pictures films instead
  • 2000: Everyone's already seen Wizard Of Oz
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