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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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MGM Files For Bankruptcy

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc., the company that owns the Rocky and James Bond franchises, the American International Pictures and United Artists libraries, and the MGM Casino, filed for bankruptcy in a New York court last week. Here are some of the reasons the entertainment giant went so far into debt:

  • 1924–1936: Metro, too much cocaine; Goldwyn, too many pills; Mayer, too many commemorative plates
  • 1968: While filming 2001: A Space Odyssey, Stanley Kubrick demands the monolith be repainted 28 times before he finds the right color
  • 1976: MGM Grand actually has the loosest slots in town for six months
  • 1978: Huge fucking shitstorm and the bastard lawyers take 20 percent
  • 1984: Start buying a new lion for the logo every year instead of every other year
  • 1987: Majority of Spaceballs is actually filmed in deep space
  • 1993: Fans of Benny & Joon's use of porkpie hats stumble upon Buster Keaton, begin watching Columbia Pictures films instead
  • 2000: Everyone's already seen Wizard Of Oz

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