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Vol 42 Issue 05

Most Fertile Irish Male Found

Irish scientists believe they have discovered the most fertile Irish male, a fifth-century warlord named Niall of the Nine Hostages with over 3 million offspring worldwide. What do you think?

Danish Cartoons Offend European Muslims

A series of recent political cartoons, published initially in Denmark and reprinted by seven other European newspapers, has offended Muslims with its depictions of Muhammad, including one with a bomb for a turban. What do you think?

Roger Federer Admits Tennis His Fourth-Favorite Sport

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA—In a tearful admission following his seventh Grand Slam title at the Australian Open Sunday, Roger Federer told members of the press that, while he "like[s] tennis okay," there are at least three other sports he would...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Eating

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

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