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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Michael Vick's Redemption

Since returning to the league, Michael Vick has been heralded as a changed man. We take a look at how Vick has won people over during his second act.

  • Taking the field to "My Heart Will Go On" every game definitely helped
  • Rather than treat them inhumanely, he now works to improve the lives of Eagles fans
  • Refuses to hang out with friends from his old neighborhood if he knows they're going to shoot or kill something that night
  • Doesn't pull the ball down and try to run with it as much as he used to back when he killed dogs
  • Single-handedly responsible for eradicating the Baja Men's "Who Let The Dogs Out" from at least two NFL stadiums
  • Displayed genuine humility and heartfelt remorse after losing to the Bears
  • Donated a bunch of money to some needy cause or charity or whatever
  • Now only watches dogfights instead of actively hosting them and betting on them

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