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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Miley Cyrus' Public Private Life

The first kiss between singer Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend, actor Liam Hemsworth, was captured during the shooting of their movie The Last Song. Here are some other milestones from Miley Cyrus' life that have been caught on tape:

  • Leaving the scene of her first car accident at 15
  • 13th-birthday bikini wax
  • When she got hit with the flu and had it coming out both ends
  • World-weary sigh no one that age should be able to make
  • Receiving her first hair doll sent by an obsessed 45-year-old fan
  • Losing hymen during particularly vigorous horseback ride
  • First time being felt up by a sweaty man claiming to be from wardrobe
  • Quiet look of panic as joint is passed around, sudden excusing of self to go to bathroom, huge sigh of relief with head resting against closed bathroom door

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