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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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MLB Playoff Predictions

With the 2009 regular season out of the way, Onion Sports runs down what to look for during the postseason.

  • Phillies: If everyone just does their part and hits one home run per game, they should be fine
  • Yankees: With the best starting pitchers, best bull pen, best lineup, and best regular-season record, the Yankees will be extra disappointed when losing in the first round on some bloop to right field
  • Rockies: Technically allowed to win World Series
  • Red Sox: With most of the team struggling to hit home runs, everyone on the roster will spend home games openly complaining about Fenway's Green Monster being too high
  • Angels: Fantastic defense will at least allow them to keep the games close when they lose the ALDS
  • Cardinals: If Matt Holliday plays like the Matt Holliday from the 2009 Cardinals, this team could go deep into the playoffs
  • Twins: Having played in one more game than the other playoff contenders gives this team too much experience
  • Dodgers: Would rather not make a prediction since it could be wrong

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