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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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MLB World Series Contenders

With baseball's postseason underway, Onion Sports takes its annual look at the playoff teams and their chances to take home the 2007 World Series title:

Chicago Cubs: Have it in the bag, unless someone jinxes them by saying something like "the Cubs have it in the bag"

Philadelphia Phillies: Have a pretty decent shot at winning the World Series if they win three games, followed by four games, and then win four more games after that

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: With quality pitching, hitting, and defense, the Angels have all the tools necessary to go all the way; however, they won't

Boston Red Sox: Curt Schilling  remains the team's only question mark, aside from the overall health of Manny Ramirez and whether or not David Ortiz's problematic knee will hold up throughout the playoffs; also, Daisuke Matsuzaka performing under the incredible pressure of October baseball is also a concern

Cleveland Indians: Seeing  as how an Indians-Diamondbacks World Series would be the most awful, boring thing in the world, Murphy's Law says the Indians are pretty much a shoo-in to go all the way

Colorado Rockies: Should just be happy to even be on this list

Arizona Diamondbacks: Nope

New York Yankees: Although it has not worked for the past six years, the Yankees' strategy to win the World Series will continue to consist of just showing up

New York Mets: Oh, man...Damn it! Come on, what do they—Jesus! Are you kidding me? Seriously, is this some kind of joke?

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