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Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.
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Mortgage Relief Bill Provisions

President Bush signed a housing bill into law last week that is designed to assist borrowers facing foreclosure on their homes. What are some of the provisions of the bill?

Congress will set up a special fund to assist owners in purchasing "For Sale" signs

If a family already has everything set up the way they like it in their house, then they're okay to keep it

In the event of foreclosure, former owners maintain right to drive by and gaze longingly at their old homes

If you ultimately lose your house, Sen. Jim Webb has dibs on that coffee table

Two thousand families displaced by foreclosure will be supplied with federally owned trailers, pending the eviction of Katrina victims

Newly created "renting" provision enables those who are not financially prepared to own homes to have a place to live

Everyone who fucked up gets a thousand bucks and we all call it even

To ensure that this mess never happens again, the legislation requires all future home purchasers to make 100 percent down payments

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