adBlockCheck

Politics

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mortgage Relief Bill Provisions

President Bush signed a housing bill into law last week that is designed to assist borrowers facing foreclosure on their homes. What are some of the provisions of the bill?

Congress will set up a special fund to assist owners in purchasing "For Sale" signs

If a family already has everything set up the way they like it in their house, then they're okay to keep it

In the event of foreclosure, former owners maintain right to drive by and gaze longingly at their old homes

If you ultimately lose your house, Sen. Jim Webb has dibs on that coffee table

Two thousand families displaced by foreclosure will be supplied with federally owned trailers, pending the eviction of Katrina victims

Newly created "renting" provision enables those who are not financially prepared to own homes to have a place to live

Everyone who fucked up gets a thousand bucks and we all call it even

To ensure that this mess never happens again, the legislation requires all future home purchasers to make 100 percent down payments

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close