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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Mortgage Relief Bill Provisions

President Bush signed a housing bill into law last week that is designed to assist borrowers facing foreclosure on their homes. What are some of the provisions of the bill?

Congress will set up a special fund to assist owners in purchasing "For Sale" signs

If a family already has everything set up the way they like it in their house, then they're okay to keep it

In the event of foreclosure, former owners maintain right to drive by and gaze longingly at their old homes

If you ultimately lose your house, Sen. Jim Webb has dibs on that coffee table

Two thousand families displaced by foreclosure will be supplied with federally owned trailers, pending the eviction of Katrina victims

Newly created "renting" provision enables those who are not financially prepared to own homes to have a place to live

Everyone who fucked up gets a thousand bucks and we all call it even

To ensure that this mess never happens again, the legislation requires all future home purchasers to make 100 percent down payments

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