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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Most Gruesome Sports Injuries

Onion Sports examines some of the most horrendous and appalling injuries in the history of athletics.

  • 776 BC: Sprinter Phidias eaten during race by Zeus in the form of a giant crow
  • 1985: Joe Theismann suffers a career-ending injury after New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor snaps off the quarterback’s leg and holds the bloodied limb aloft for the entire RFK Stadium crowd to behold
  • February 2001: Daytona 500 fans are horrified after the wildly popular No. 3 car violently slams into a wall at an estimated 155 mph, causing extensive damage that would prevent it from ever racing again
  • March 2001: Randy Johnson fastball strikes and kills an ostrich that had wandered onto the field
  • 2003: Vince Carter decapitates Marcus Camby with a vicious windmill dunk
  • 2006: Boxer Antonio Margarito hits boxer Miguel Cotto right in the face
  • 2007: Alex Rodriguez dives headfirst into the stands for a ball and, to onlookers’ horror, comes up without a scratch
  • 2008: Trail Blazers fans watch in horror as Greg Oden’s body completely disintegrates into a bloody mist after stepping on the court for his NBA debut
  • 2009: After being brushed by an opposing player’s leg, soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo immediately collapses to the ground and is quickly airlifted to a nearby hospital
  • 2010: Novak Djokovic gets both legs blown off from an old land mine while playing tennis in his native Serbia
  • 2013: Louisville Cardinals guard Kevin Ware stubs toe while being loaded into ambulance

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