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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Most Gruesome Sports Injuries

Onion Sports examines some of the most horrendous and appalling injuries in the history of athletics.

  • 776 BC: Sprinter Phidias eaten during race by Zeus in the form of a giant crow
  • 1985: Joe Theismann suffers a career-ending injury after New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor snaps off the quarterback’s leg and holds the bloodied limb aloft for the entire RFK Stadium crowd to behold
  • February 2001: Daytona 500 fans are horrified after the wildly popular No. 3 car violently slams into a wall at an estimated 155 mph, causing extensive damage that would prevent it from ever racing again
  • March 2001: Randy Johnson fastball strikes and kills an ostrich that had wandered onto the field
  • 2003: Vince Carter decapitates Marcus Camby with a vicious windmill dunk
  • 2006: Boxer Antonio Margarito hits boxer Miguel Cotto right in the face
  • 2007: Alex Rodriguez dives headfirst into the stands for a ball and, to onlookers’ horror, comes up without a scratch
  • 2008: Trail Blazers fans watch in horror as Greg Oden’s body completely disintegrates into a bloody mist after stepping on the court for his NBA debut
  • 2009: After being brushed by an opposing player’s leg, soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo immediately collapses to the ground and is quickly airlifted to a nearby hospital
  • 2010: Novak Djokovic gets both legs blown off from an old land mine while playing tennis in his native Serbia
  • 2013: Louisville Cardinals guard Kevin Ware stubs toe while being loaded into ambulance

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