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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Most Memorable Hall Of Fame Speeches

Last weekend, Shannon Sharpe's tribute to his brother and Deion Sanders' strange humility were two reminders of the heights that sports hall of fame speeches can reach. Some great quotes from others:

  • Barry Sanders: "I'm surprised I showed up to this too."
  • James Naismith: "Oh, wow, I'm in the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame? No fucking shit."
  • Floyd Little: “I know you all just want to hear Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith talk, so I’m going to leave right now and cry in the parking lot.”
  • Mickey Mantle: "I practiced drunk. I played drunk. You're damn right I'll give this speech drunk!"
  • O.J. Simpson: "It's an honor knowing this is how people will remember me forever: O.J. Simpson, Hall of Fame running back."
  • John Madden: "…So then comes the cheese, and it's gotta be pepper jack, you just pile that on there then bake it in the oven for maybe five minutes, just long enough for the cheese to melt, and then comes the mayo…"
  • Jerry Rice: "…98…99…100. See, 100 push-ups, no problem. And I'll do 100 more—watch me! One! Two!"
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