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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Most Notable Recent Player Transactions

With the shortened NFL free-agency period overlapping baseball's trade deadline, there has been a lot of player movement recently. Here are the most notable new deals:

  • Tarvaris Jackson: Seattle Seahawks have signed Jackson to a two-year, 196-interception deal
  • Plaxico Burress: Just as he signed his contract with the Jets, three loaded handguns fell out of his pants, hit the floor, and went off
  • Carlos Beltran: Finally has a chance to win a World Series in a Mets uniform if he wears it underneath his new Giants uniform
  • Vince Young: Will back up Michael Vick in Philadelphia in what will either be a sports psychologist's nightmare or a sports psychologist's dream come true
  • Curt Schilling: Retired more than two years ago, but his stupid fucking mouth is still moving like something important just happened to him
  • Reggie Bush: Adds new dimension to Dolphins' running-around-then-spinning-then-turning-to-the-weak-side-then-being-tackled-for-a-5-yard-loss game
  • Kevin Kolb: Cardinals brass hoping to recapture the magic of the Josh McCown era

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