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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Most Surprising Training Camp Cuts

Last Saturday saw NFL teams making final cuts to get down to 53-man rosters, and some unexpected names had to hand in their playbooks. Here’s a guide to who was released:

  • LB Chris Ellis: The Bills transitioned him further and further to the outside until he just wasn’t on the field or in the stadium anymore
  • WR Kevin Jurovich: Dropped a pass
  • S Brandon Meriweather: One team's trash is another team's starting trash
  • DE Marques Murrell: The Patriots weighed the pros and cons of Murrell’s one tackle last season and decided it wasn’t a very good tackle
  • CB Niles Brinkley: Although always the last player to leave the field, that’s because he was always asleep on the 50-yard line
  • RB Chester Taylor: Watching Taylor struggle became painful for the Bears, so they released him to go play for the Cardinals, where watching Taylor struggle is funny
  • K Nick Novak: The Jets surprisingly released a kicker, signaling they would only keep six kickers on their active roster this year
  • QB David Garrard: The Jaguar quarterback's release was met with shock by Jacksonville fans, who were pretty sure the Jaguars stopped being a thing years ago

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