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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Most Surprising Training Camp Cuts

Last Saturday saw NFL teams making final cuts to get down to 53-man rosters, and some unexpected names had to hand in their playbooks. Here’s a guide to who was released:

  • LB Chris Ellis: The Bills transitioned him further and further to the outside until he just wasn’t on the field or in the stadium anymore
  • WR Kevin Jurovich: Dropped a pass
  • S Brandon Meriweather: One team's trash is another team's starting trash
  • DE Marques Murrell: The Patriots weighed the pros and cons of Murrell’s one tackle last season and decided it wasn’t a very good tackle
  • CB Niles Brinkley: Although always the last player to leave the field, that’s because he was always asleep on the 50-yard line
  • RB Chester Taylor: Watching Taylor struggle became painful for the Bears, so they released him to go play for the Cardinals, where watching Taylor struggle is funny
  • K Nick Novak: The Jets surprisingly released a kicker, signaling they would only keep six kickers on their active roster this year
  • QB David Garrard: The Jaguar quarterback's release was met with shock by Jacksonville fans, who were pretty sure the Jaguars stopped being a thing years ago
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