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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Most Used Words In The Gettysburg Address

One hundred fifty years ago Tuesday, President Abraham Lincoln delivered the historic Gettysburg Address at the site of the bloodiest battle of the American Civil War. Here are the words and phrases used in Lincoln's speech weighted by the frequency with which they appeared.

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