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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Mukasey Visits Guantanamo

Attorney General Michael Mukasey made his first trip to the United States military detention facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Here's some of the information he came back with:

Terror suspects are given full access to people who dress just like lawyers

The bay contains a unique nocturnal species of bird whose singing sounds like cracking whips and faint screams for help

Gift shop really needs to start carrying childrens' sizes

Cuba pretty

Some prisoners reported to have family members, favorite foods back home

You can throw a rock and hit the Cuban guard tower

Detainees' production of Fiddler On The Roof was abysmal

It's kind of like a middle-school sleepover in that no one is actually falling asleep, and if they did, someone would do something terrible to them

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