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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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Mukasey Visits Guantanamo

Attorney General Michael Mukasey made his first trip to the United States military detention facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Here's some of the information he came back with:

Terror suspects are given full access to people who dress just like lawyers

The bay contains a unique nocturnal species of bird whose singing sounds like cracking whips and faint screams for help

Gift shop really needs to start carrying childrens' sizes

Cuba pretty

Some prisoners reported to have family members, favorite foods back home

You can throw a rock and hit the Cuban guard tower

Detainees' production of Fiddler On The Roof was abysmal

It's kind of like a middle-school sleepover in that no one is actually falling asleep, and if they did, someone would do something terrible to them

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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