NBA's Biggest-Ever Trade Deadline Deals

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Vol 46 Issue 07

Local Snowplow Guy Ruins Winter Olympics

VANCOUVER—The 2010 Winter Olympics were postponed indefinitely Friday morning after snowplow operator Dominic Wondolowski arrived on the scene Thursday night, a snowplow affixed to his 1994 Ford F-150, and proceeded to clear out nearly all of the snow from every Olympic venue.

Construction Restricts Daytona 500 Traffic To One Lane

DAYTONA BEACH, FL—Construction crews working to patch the rippled and broken asphalt of Daytona International Speedway reduced traffic to a single lane during last Sunday's Daytona 500, resulting in average speeds of 35 miles per hour.

Nate Robinson

The high-scoring point guard is now the first three-time NBA Slam-Dunk Contest winner. Is he any good?

Lawmaker Seeks To Ban U.S. Currency

Mike Pitts, a representative in the South Carolina legislature, has proposed a law that would replace dollars with gold and silver in his state. What...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

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NBA's Biggest-Ever Trade Deadline Deals

  • 1891: James Naismith claims a taller player for his team and then immediately proclaims that no other teams are allowed to change their rosters
  • 1971: Bucks trade NBA MVP Lew Alcindor for complete unknown Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
  • 1974: The Hawks' "Pistol" Pete Maravich executes a brilliant behind-the-back dipsy-doodle looky-loo trade that sends eight disoriented players stumbling to Atlanta as he glides effortlessly to the Jazz
  • 1991: That huge Michael Jordan trade that no one ever talks about
  • 1994: The L.A. Clippers trade a nearly mint Danny Manning and a first-round draft pick to the Atlanta Hawks for two slightly bent Dominique Wilkinses
  • 1999: An eight-team deal sends Sam Cassell to the Suns, Timberwolves, Bucks, Nets, Clippers, Mavericks, Rockets, and Celtics
  • 2004: The Lakers trade Shaquille O'Neal to the Heat for a bunch of guys who are not Shaquille fucking O'Neal 2008: The Lakers place a call to the Memphis Grizzlies to inquire about Pau Gasol's availability, piece together that the Grizzlies have no GM or front office to speak of, and sign Gasol to a contract
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