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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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New Cars Unveiled At Detroit Auto Show

Opening next week in Detroit, the annual North American International Auto Show will once again introduce the world to a variety of new cars. Here are some of the models that will be showcased at this year’s expo:

  • Lincoln Town Car: Trunk comes already loaded with dead snitch
  • Toyota Prius Breeze: Toyota’s next generation Prius features a 120-foot-tall roof-mounted turbine to help power its hybrid gas-wind engine
  • Nissan Quest: There are all kinds of ways we could try to spin this, but let’s level with each other: It’s a minivan
  • Ford Masoch bondage car: Comes with full leather interiors and exteriors, multiple studded seat belts, driving mask, and child safety locks on all four doors
  • Honda Accord: Includes a new voice-activated response system that assures the driver he or she made a reasonable choice at a decent price
  • Buick Charity: Comes with NPR car donation form in glove compartment
  • Toyota Highlander: New model will hunt down every other Toyota Highlander
  • Chrysler Duchamp conceptual concept car: 2 feet of PVC pipe with the word “Sedan” written on it placed atop a white display pedestal

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

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