adBlockCheck

Business

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
End Of Section
  • More News

New Cars Unveiled At Detroit Auto Show

Opening next week in Detroit, the annual North American International Auto Show will once again introduce the world to a variety of new cars. Here are some of the models that will be showcased at this year’s expo:

  • Lincoln Town Car: Trunk comes already loaded with dead snitch
  • Toyota Prius Breeze: Toyota’s next generation Prius features a 120-foot-tall roof-mounted turbine to help power its hybrid gas-wind engine
  • Nissan Quest: There are all kinds of ways we could try to spin this, but let’s level with each other: It’s a minivan
  • Ford Masoch bondage car: Comes with full leather interiors and exteriors, multiple studded seat belts, driving mask, and child safety locks on all four doors
  • Honda Accord: Includes a new voice-activated response system that assures the driver he or she made a reasonable choice at a decent price
  • Buick Charity: Comes with NPR car donation form in glove compartment
  • Toyota Highlander: New model will hunt down every other Toyota Highlander
  • Chrysler Duchamp conceptual concept car: 2 feet of PVC pipe with the word “Sedan” written on it placed atop a white display pedestal

More from this section

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close