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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 31, 2017

Aries: They say there’s nothing quite like the bond between a mother and her child, but then they have yet to see your experimental new adhesive compound. Taurus: The stars, in their infinite wisdom, recommend that you check yourself this week, as not doing so might lead you to wreck yourself in the future.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.
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New Cartoon May Violate FCC Regulations

Last week the Federal Communications Commission opened an inquiry into claims that the Nicktoons cartoon Zevo-3 violates advertising rules because its characters originated in Skechers shoe commercials. Here are some other shows that have raised alarms for inappropriate marketing:

  • 1961: The Yogi Bear Show receives numerous complaints for inappropriately promoting the National Park System
  • 1962: The Jetsons premieres as an infomercial for Spacely Sprockets
  • 1977: Captain Caveman's mystery-solving team constantly pauses so one of the Teen Angels can change her Kotex pad
  • 1983: Jim Henson is forced to drop an entire subplot of Fraggle Rock revolving around the underground-dwelling creatures' constant search for bauxite on behalf of the Alcoa corporation
  • 1985: He-Man's Power Sword is briefly replaced with a 3-foot Slim Jim
  • 1990: Chevron produces Captain Planet to show kids how lame environmentalists are
  • 1995: Bill Nye nearly loses his show following vicious allegations that he has been pushing Arm & Hammer–brand baking soda
  • 2001: The answer to Blue's clues that was Pizza Pringles
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