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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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New Faces In The News

Following the untimely death of esteemed broadcast journalist Tim Russert, 23-year-old son Luke Russert was tapped by the NBC political team to fill at least some small part of the giant head-space left by his father's absence.
Lucy the Dog captured hearts across the nation by adopting a litter of abandoned kittens and bumping a story about a Pakistani suicide bombing off the Yahoo! home page.
Samantha Ronson entered the public consciousness when the DJ single-handedly prevented Lindsay Lohan from receiving bad press or getting into trouble, keeping the actress's head safely inside her vagina for the year.
Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody is here to stay, and you have no one to blame but yourselves.
Robert Pattinson's jaw became an overnight sensation after appearing in the film Twilight, where it spoke, masticated, and brooded.
Thomas Beatie, the so-called "pregnant man," shocked the world this year with his incredibly feminine-looking face, vagina, and uterus.
America fell in love with celebrity impersonator Frank Caliendo or whatever his name is and the show they saw advertised about 150,000 fucking times, but never actually saw, if it ever even came out. Did it?

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