adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
End Of Section
  • More News

New Features Of ‘Grand Theft Auto V’

The latest installment of the Grand Theft Auto video game series launches Tuesday. Here are a few of the new features gamers can look forward to:

  • 15-hour opening cinematic scene
  • Character now sometimes steps in gum
  • Users can unlock one free episode of the 1960’s action-comedy Car Robbers! on which the franchise is based
  • Gamers can dress characters up in any outfits they want, much as a 5-year-old girl would with her doll
  • Solid Thai restaurants
  • Online multiplayer mode where up to 16 players can hold hands
  • Free admission to botanical gardens while playing during hours of 11 a.m and 4 p.m. on Sundays
  • Like previous installments, gameplay immerses players in alternate reality where their lives are rich and meaningful
  • All three protagonists inexplicably named Gideon
  • Ability to lick everything
  • After you finish playing it for the first time, you will become known by friends and coworkers as a very cool guy, and everyone will want to talk to you about your fascinating exploits in the game

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close