New GM-Segway Vehicle Coming

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 16

Simple Tips For A Greener House

Cutting energy consumption not only saves you money, it helps save the environment. Here are 10 simple things you can do around the house to the earth AND your wallet a greener place.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...


New GM-Segway Vehicle Coming

Ailing auto company General Motors has teamed up with personal transport device manufacturer Segway to create the PUMA, a two-person electrical vehicle that can travel up to 35 miles on a single charge. Here are some of the features of this innovative new device:

Horn plays MIDI version of "La Cucaracha"

Combines with six other PUMAs to form powerful urban assault vehicle

A single windshield wiper, mostly for laughs

Revolutionary new internal generator converts the force of impact from SUVs into energy

Attachable plow collects recyclables from side of highway

Seats two people in the cab, plus one more running alongside

Runs on 450 rechargeable AA batteries

Fully electric engine makes Prius-drivers feel like complete and utter shit

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More