adBlockCheck

Business

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
End Of Section
  • More News

New GM-Segway Vehicle Coming

Ailing auto company General Motors has teamed up with personal transport device manufacturer Segway to create the PUMA, a two-person electrical vehicle that can travel up to 35 miles on a single charge. Here are some of the features of this innovative new device:

Horn plays MIDI version of "La Cucaracha"

Combines with six other PUMAs to form powerful urban assault vehicle

A single windshield wiper, mostly for laughs

Revolutionary new internal generator converts the force of impact from SUVs into energy

Attachable plow collects recyclables from side of highway

Seats two people in the cab, plus one more running alongside

Runs on 450 rechargeable AA batteries

Fully electric engine makes Prius-drivers feel like complete and utter shit

More from this section

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close