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New 'X-Files' Movie Opens

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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New 'X-Files' Movie Opens

Six years after it went off the air, The X-Files is back in a new feature-length film titled The X-Files: I Want To Believe. What is in store for audiences?

A lengthy subplot that explains in detail why Mulder and Scully's hairstyles have changed

Mulder is heavily criticized by his FBI superiors for using "circa 1995" tactics for investigating paranormal phenomena

Composer Mark Snow has transposed the franchise's haunting piano line from the key of A minor to the even creepier key of A-flat minor

Child who says "I made this!" during Ten Thirteen Productions bumper revealed to be an extraterrestrial

Story updated with single iPod reference

Mulder, Scully, and their new alien friend, Xeeblop, struggle against all odds to make it to the top of the go-karting circuit

In an attempt to diffuse the sexual tension, Mulder exposes himself constantly throughout the movie

Turns out government is not to blame for anything; it was just a big misunderstanding

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