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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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New 'X-Files' Movie Opens

Six years after it went off the air, The X-Files is back in a new feature-length film titled The X-Files: I Want To Believe. What is in store for audiences?

A lengthy subplot that explains in detail why Mulder and Scully's hairstyles have changed

Mulder is heavily criticized by his FBI superiors for using "circa 1995" tactics for investigating paranormal phenomena

Composer Mark Snow has transposed the franchise's haunting piano line from the key of A minor to the even creepier key of A-flat minor

Child who says "I made this!" during Ten Thirteen Productions bumper revealed to be an extraterrestrial

Story updated with single iPod reference

Mulder, Scully, and their new alien friend, Xeeblop, struggle against all odds to make it to the top of the go-karting circuit

In an attempt to diffuse the sexual tension, Mulder exposes himself constantly throughout the movie

Turns out government is not to blame for anything; it was just a big misunderstanding

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