News Corp. Under Fire For Cell Phone Hacks

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Vol 47 Issue 29

Nation's School Systems Held Back A Year

WASHINGTON—Having continued to display learning deficits and a failure to reach basic educational milestones, the nation's school systems will be asked to repeat the academic year, sources confirmed Friday.
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News Corp. Under Fire For Cell Phone Hacks

Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, the parent company of Fox News, is under scrutiny following reports that its paper The News Of The World hired people to hack into the phones of politicians, murder victims, and relatives of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Here are some scoops they obtained from hacking victims:

  • Hugh Grant—Majority of incoming calls are from people asking to order food from the Indian restaurant whose phone number is one digit off
  • David Cameron—Phone contained bootlegged Wallace And Gromit episodes
  • Margaret Thatcher—Eats KFC up to four times a week
  • Gordon Brown— Voice mail password is "coolguy"
  • Rod Stewart—Vodafone is offering great rates if he decides to upgrade to a smartphone with data plan today
  • Rowan Atkinson—Sadly, he doesn't have a very silly outgoing message at all
  • Elton John—Discovered David Furnish is not really just his roommate
  • Rupert Murdoch—Found out that he would publicly denounce the phone-hacking allegations, but that, really, it was okay to keep on doing them
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