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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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News Corp. Under Fire For Cell Phone Hacks

Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, the parent company of Fox News, is under scrutiny following reports that its paper The News Of The World hired people to hack into the phones of politicians, murder victims, and relatives of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Here are some scoops they obtained from hacking victims:

  • Hugh Grant—Majority of incoming calls are from people asking to order food from the Indian restaurant whose phone number is one digit off
  • David Cameron—Phone contained bootlegged Wallace And Gromit episodes
  • Margaret Thatcher—Eats KFC up to four times a week
  • Gordon Brown— Voice mail password is "coolguy"
  • Rod Stewart—Vodafone is offering great rates if he decides to upgrade to a smartphone with data plan today
  • Rowan Atkinson—Sadly, he doesn't have a very silly outgoing message at all
  • Elton John—Discovered David Furnish is not really just his roommate
  • Rupert Murdoch—Found out that he would publicly denounce the phone-hacking allegations, but that, really, it was okay to keep on doing them

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