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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.
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NFL 2010 Midseason Highlights

While it's still anyone's league halfway through the season, the first nine weeks of pro football have provided some undeniably intriguing moments.

  • Week 1: The new Meadowlands Stadium gets off to an awkward start when the Jets walk in on the completely naked Giants in the locker room.
  • Week 2: Quarterback Trent Edwards successfully holds the Bills offense to 186 yards
  • Week 3: Cowboys get right back on track with a win over the Texans and have a whole bye week to prepare for a deep playoff run
  • Week 4: Bears realize they're giving up a number of sacks because center Olin Kreutz is hiking defensive linemen at Jay Cutler
  • Week 5: Charlie Batch throws for three touchdowns during a rerun of a Steelers game from 2006
  • Week 6: Ben Roethlisberger emerges from his soul-searching period with a breakthrough: He remembers where he left the Jet Ski keys
  • Week 7: James Harrison calls off his retirement plans when he finds out it's illegal to hit someone in the head in the real world too
  • Week 8: Bye
  • Week 9: Players and fans collectively breathe a sigh of relief, as it's just nice to have a moment without Randy Moss there

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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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