adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
End Of Section
  • More News

NFL Combine 2008

Darren McFadden's 4.33 40 time is the talk of this year's pre-draft workout, but it was far from the only notable moment in Indianapolis last weekend:

Hawaii QB Colt Brennan completed 17 passes out of the 20 he attempted during the bench press segment

Michigan QB Chad Henne demonstrated his ability to sing three-part harmony by himself as scouts looked on in consternation and growing horror

DE Vernon Gholston put in the combine's strongest showing with a 4.6 40 time, five-second cone drill, 48-inch vertical, laser vision, the ability to fuel cars with his urine, and a broad jump from which he has not yet come down

QB prospect Joe Flacco is being called the next Tom Brady for his chiseled jaw, soulful eyes, tousled hair and roguish grin

Everyone except Michigan running back Mike Hart finished 40-yard dash this year

N.C. State defensive lineman Tank Tyler ate the entire pile of Wonderlic tests in under 12 minutes

Virginia offensive guard Branden Albert just stretched for three days, then left

OT Ryan Clady goes from underrated to top prospect to bust to underrated again in less than five minutes

After a one-handed catch, the coaches ranked Virginia Tech's Justin Harper the greatest player of all time

Louisville's Harry Douglas couldn't understand why every time he took a step, people began writing furiously in their notebooks

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close