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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NFL Combine Highlights

With the NFL draft combine in the books, Onion Sports takes a closer look at some of the more notable performances:

After Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn's refusal to throw for scouts damages his draft standing, LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell improves his own by throwing Quinn 60 yards

Sooners running back Adrian Peterson settles all questions about his health and toughness by nonchalantly strolling through brick walls whenever possible 

UTEP quarterback Jordan Palmer impresses coaches and scouts by repeatedly saying "I am related to NFL quarterback Carson Palmer"

Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas executes a 50-foot vertical leap upon being frightened by a mouse during his physical; the nurse who catches him is invited to work out for the Arizona Cardinals

Kansas State wide receiver Yamon Figures wows all in attendance by turning in a blazing 4.2-second time on the Wonderlic test

Ohio State's Ted Ginn fails to impress the Cleveland Browns during the interview portion of the combine when head coach Romeo Crennel asks him why he wants to play for the Browns; Ginn responds by saying he does not, in fact, want to play for the Browns

While the lights are being turned off so everyone can go home for the night, USC center Ryan Kalil is discovered to be still bench-pressing 225 pounds

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