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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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NFL Midseason Report 2007

Upon reaching the midpoint of the 2007 NFL season, Onion Sports lists the notable moments, achievements, and situations in pro football thus far:

The defending Super Bowl champion Colts get out to an embarrassing 7-1 start, made worse by the fact that their quarterback isn't on pace to break the single season touchdown record

The Patriots' relentless scoring barrage has led to questions of whether they're the greatest team ever or just a bunch of cocky assholes

Thanks to a combination of tough play, fortunate turnovers, sudden outbreaks of ball lightning, and grand pianos falling from stadium upper decks, the abysmal Detroit Lions somehow win six games

Ben Roethlisberger is having a career year, due to the quarterback's new offseason training regimen of not almost killing himself

The New Orleans Saints continue to symbolize their home city, which has shown flashes of brilliance in an otherwise tragic and possibly never-ending rebuilding process

The Dolphins are just really, really bad

LaDainian Tomlinson decides to focus his energy on the first two yards beyond the line of scrimmage this season

A 43-year-old man defeats the Arizona Cardinals

In his first start, Derek Anderson surprises everyone with a reminder that there is, in fact, a football team in Cleveland

The first-ever regular season overseas game between the Giants and Dolphins in London works out much better than the less-advertised Jaguars-Buccaneers game in Swaziland

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