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NFL Week Five Winners And Losers

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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NFL Week Five Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the fifth week of the NFL season:

Winners

  • Denver Broncos: While unofficial polls suggest they beat the Cowboys, officials are still waiting for the last few points to trickle in before declaring a winner
  • Philadelphia Eagles: At 2-3, Philadelphia looks poised to run away with the NFC East
  • Pittsburgh Steelers: Finally managed to snap their four-week losing streak

Losers

  • Dallas Cowboys: The reeling Cowboys have plummeted to the top of the NFC East standings
  • Kansas City Chiefs: The grim specter of unreasonable expectations continues to hang over the 5-0 Chiefs
  • Tony Romo: The perennial choke artist blew it again with a disgraceful 506-yard, 5-TD performance

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