adBlockCheck

Sports

Man With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For Mazda

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at home, said Thursday his loyalty to the car manufacturer was so strong that he would be willing to kill in its name.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
End Of Section
  • More News

NFL Week Four Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the fourth week of the NFL season:

Winners

  • Von Miller: The Broncos linebacker enjoyed another relaxing week
  • Peyton Manning: After yet another dominant performance in the Broncos’ 52-20 rout over the Eagles, Manning has now proven without a doubt that PEDs can work wonders on aging players
  • London NFL Fans: Got a firsthand look at what a potential London-based NFL franchise would look like

Losers

  • Joe Flacco: The Ravens QB experienced a disastrous turn of events through his tried and true throw-the-ball-into-coverage-and-hope-everything-works-out strategy
  • Philip Rivers: Discovered the hard way that even throwing for over 400 yards and three touchdowns doesn’t change the inevitable reality that each of us, no matter whom, will one day perish amidst the unforgiving march of time
  • Josh Freeman: Made his strongest case yet to be a low-paid second-string quarterback for another few seasons before leaving the NFL entirely
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close