NFL Week One Winners And Losers

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 37

Out That Innie!

Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT Cash and prizes are awarded to contestants who, through a combination of holding their breath and clenching really hard, are able to push their belly buttons out.

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Two Picks

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Two Picks OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week two games: Jets at Patriots OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Patriots — Expect Pat...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

Advertising

  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

NFL Week One Winners And Losers

With the first Sunday of the NFL season in the books, Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from week one:

Winners

  • Bills: Buffalo proved they can go toe-to-toe with the NFL’s best for a full 57 minutes
  • Turnovers: The classic change-of-possession plays made a huge splash in their high-profile Sunday night appearance
  • Titans’ defense: Racked up an impressive eight safeties in a 16-9 victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers, who managed just three safeties and a field goal

Losers

  • Packers: They lost
  • Geno Smith: While he wasn’t spectacular, he also didn’t make any horrendous mistakes, calling into question whether he fits as the Jets’ QB
  • Jaguars: After getting routed by Kansas City, the Jaguars should remember that this was only one game, the first game, the game that revealed beyond a doubt how bad they are
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More