adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

NFL Week One Winners And Losers

With the first Sunday of the NFL season in the books, Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from week one:

Winners

  • Bills: Buffalo proved they can go toe-to-toe with the NFL’s best for a full 57 minutes
  • Turnovers: The classic change-of-possession plays made a huge splash in their high-profile Sunday night appearance
  • Titans’ defense: Racked up an impressive eight safeties in a 16-9 victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers, who managed just three safeties and a field goal

Losers

  • Packers: They lost
  • Geno Smith: While he wasn’t spectacular, he also didn’t make any horrendous mistakes, calling into question whether he fits as the Jets’ QB
  • Jaguars: After getting routed by Kansas City, the Jaguars should remember that this was only one game, the first game, the game that revealed beyond a doubt how bad they are

More from this section

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close