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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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NFL Week Six Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the sixth week of the NFL season:

Winners

  • Brandon Weeden: Inaugurated Cleveland’s second Brandon Weeden era in style
  • Houston Texans: Houston rebounded from last week’s blowout loss with a slightly more competitive loss
  • Pittsburgh Steelers: A win over the Jets kept their slim hopes for a 2-14 season alive

Losers

  • Washington Redskins: The ’Skins were slaughtered by the Cowboys faster than an antelope facing an Apache tomahawk—Geronimo!
  • T.J. Yates: Came in for an injured Matt Schaub and gave Texans fans the performance they’ve truly been asking for
  • Houston Jumbotron operator: Drew ire for flashing the words “make some noise” on screen in response to quarterback Matt Schaub’s game-ending injury
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